Wah lau eh!

A leopard never change it spots. A mosquito will always be a pest. A borrower is always continued to borrow.

Got a call from my army friend, Michael. I have been avoiding his call for the past year and he managed to get hold of me as his phone number apparently changed.

What happening between us? Here goes …

First time he borrowed money from me was 2 years back and he took a 1k loan from me. After a month he returned me $500. A week later he borrowed another $600/- this time he took 3 months to return me $300. So still owe me $800/- right?

After a week, he wants to borrow another 1k from me. He knows his math very well, I must say and I suspect he got my name wrong. I ain’t Mr. Robert.

Do I look goondu to him?
My decision is to apply Murphy's Law.

So when I pressed him to return my $800 instead you know what did he says to me?
He says, “What you gonna to do when I have no intention of returning you the money.”

You see wrestling match on tv? You know who is Hulk Hogan?
His fave phrase, “What you gonna do when the Hulkster rules”

Over the phone I can imagine him saying this to me while tearing off his t-shirt like Hogan. How disgusting.

Like a grand chess master he makes his move and it was a checkmate and there no way I could counter it.

Rule no.1: Never argues with a fool, he can bring you down to his level.

Ok, I thought of by not getting back my money was the answer for I have no wish to hear his voice anymore but every solution breed’s new problems.

6 months gone by, Michael called me again and the conversation goes like this.

Mike: Hi, how are you? This is Michael your good friend ….you know the other times I was just joking with you. Don’t be angry, ok? I didn’t mean it and I want to return you the money. How much did I owe you?

Me: $800/-

Mike: Oh, it ONLY $800 right?

Me: Yup.

Mike: Ok, I tell you what, lend me another $700 and I will return by end of the month a sum of $1,500.

Me: (I fainted)

You see he has a great sense of ‘humor’. If I'm Bruce Banner, I would turn into "The Incredible Hulk."

It’s only after 1 year later that he returned me the money when we were back in camp for our reservist. Why he was so good? Because I was like a plagued to him, badmouthing him from Changi to Jurong, so everybody knew what’s going on.

In front of our platoon mates, he returned me the money so that he looked like a guardian angel. 3 days after our reservist, he called and wanted to borrow back the $800/.

Is my name Ah Fook? I think not.
Feel like giving him a LHL slapping style and if I want to look smart, I just hang around unintelligent people like him.

So this happened, folks.

Now he’s like mosquito, buzzing around my ear just to irritate me. His skin must be thicker than yellow pages.

A summary: Never try to teach a mosquito to sing. You waste your time, and you annoy the pest.

But on the bright side……….hey, it’s Christmas Eve everybody and I got good news! I have no ship during this weekend. Three cheers for me!

Hip, Hip Hooray!
Hip, Hip Hooray!
Hip, Hip Hooray!