Memo from my company

Important notice to all employees.
Company policy: Effective from 1st March 2007.

Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing too well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore, you do not need a raise to teach you a lesson. If you dress just rightly, you are right where you need to be and you do not need a raise.

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Annual Leave Days
Each employee will receive 96 Annual Leave days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for the dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

Toilet Use
Too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your 2nd offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes as they need to eat more. Normal size people get 15 minutes to get a balanced meal. Chubby people get 5 minutes because that is all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive and interesting employment experience.

The Management

You must have heard this song before.

There was a time when people said
That Singapore won't make it, but we did
There was a time when troubles seemed too much
For us to take, but we did
We built a nation, strong and free, reaching out together
For peace and harmony

Chorus 1:
This is my country, this is my flag
This is my future, this is my life
This is my family, these are my friends

Let us see the MTV.

Surely you've seen them on the road.

They're swerving in and out of lanes, ignoring rules of the road, and engaging in dangerous behavior.

So how to recognize a bad drivers?
Let me show you.


(Si buay best parking skill, if this is not a bad driver, I don't know what is.)


(Park until get struck)

As I mature,...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just a arse hole.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones (xiao ren) just never go away.

Meet up my secondary classmates on the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year which we always go to the same place, “River Hongbao” at Marine......year after year.

It's like a yearly ritual for us which we only meet only once a year.
Amazing!


(Left to right. Gim Seng, Ah Hwee and Roger)


(Seeing them remind me of my good old times in my sec school. Able to snap a pic of the elusive Roger)


(Are they bored?)

I wanted to write about this once a year outing with them however there this person I saw there, eclipsed of what I'm going to write about them.

While I was there, I saw Tee's wife. (Tee was my best friend who passed away).

Tee's wife: Hey..Happy New Year

Me: Happy New Year too.

Tee's wife: You alone?

Me: **Glance over the other side** My friends is there.

Tee's wife: Ok...how are you.

Me: Still surviving.....you, with your mum?

Tee's wife: No. I'm with my husband.

(I was struck dumb for a second, I looked to her left, saw a man carrying a child. My guess was the child who about 3 or 4 years old probably was Tee's daughter)

I don't know how to explain this....really I don't.

Of course Tee's wife got every right to remarry since Tee died, however.....how do I put it?

I know Tee committed suicide because he thought he lost everything which was most important to him; his wife and daughter. (Tee told me this 3 months before he died)

Nevermind........not important anymore.

Will be visiting my buddy as it is his fourth death anniversary in 2 months time. I'm going tell him how fucking stupid he was.

2nd day of the Chinese New Year. I attend ship again...thank to "xiao ren".

Like I said before, these are times when I wonder if it was the very nature of “siew ren' that drove some monks during ancient times to seek peace from the world by living as hermits.

There are some people who like to alone, a loner you might call them and probably they were victimised by “siew ren” before.

Today is the big day!

It's a time for family reunions, the lion dance, mandarin oranges, giving/collecting ang pow, bak qua and so much more.

It is the Lunar New Year or Chinese New Year. (Year of the Pig)

I woke up on the first day of Chinese New Year, guess what I did? Attend ship...nanbei...si buay tulan. Lucky able to finish my work and reach home just before noon.

Chinese New Year is my fave and also the Chinese biggest traditional holiday. As usual, my family came over, same routine......so just pictures only.


(Preparing food)


(Surprising....there is no pork today. Give face to year of the Pig?)


(I'm in charge of this......haha)


(Grill cod fish)


(Final product)


(Brought Joe to playground)

Happy Chinese New Year!!!
Wishing you happiness, good fortune and prosperity in the New Year.

Today is the traditional family reunion dinner much like Thanksgiving for the Americans and Christmas.

Another year has passed. How fast was that? It felt like it was just yesterday when I celebrated Chinese New Year 2006.

Ah.....the all-important Reunion dinner. Decided that it was time to flex some domestic muscles of mine, tonight I'm gonna whip up a scrumptious meal everybody. Will show what did I cook, ya.

Here are some pictures during my reunion dinner 2007 at my younger brother's place before dinner.


See the little girl, she is my brother-in-law's niece. She's a American)


(The meal that I'm going cook is steamboat. Hahaha)


(Joe and Wenxin playing together. They're so lovely)

Melvin was a disgruntled man.

We were sms each other about some daily issue things when he revealed that when his wife was pregnant nobody gave up seat for her. I told him, most Singaporeans can never be polite.

Here's my thought,....

Courtesy is something we can't do without. Basic courtesy like holding the door or pressing the lift button, a simple actions like these is a great help to others. So why not be kind and help? They won't kill you anyway.

However.........based on my experience.

- There few times in my office I was pressing the lift to let people walk out first, nobody said the word thank you.

- At shopping centre, I opened the door for a old man, and he walked past me without thank you, and he stared me into my eyes as if I did something wrong.

- Was in the MRT, being courteous me, I gave up my seat for a child. Surprising, I was greeted with with a fuck face by the kid, not even a word of thank you and a literally staring by her mother as if I'm preying on her child.

Singapore has courtesy campaigns which have obviously gone to waste. When people press the lift for me, l'll let them know that I appreciate your help by saying thank you.

Whenever I walk in in or out of the store, the sales assistants will cheerfully say “welcome” and “bye”, I will smile to acknowledge or at least nod.

Here another proof, Singaporean bo chap one.
Young man beat old man...who gonna call?

Public help?
Tan ku ku (wait long long)

I'm sure you all heard of the story “Sleeping Beauty”.

The beauty could only wake up by the sweet kiss of a prince's son. Our own Singapore also got sleeping beauty you know.

Check this out.


(I'm very sure by squeezing her neh neh...she's sure wake up)

Have you ever seen anyone so inconsiderately and face so thick before? Based on her artistic elegance, I'm ready to conclude she is a PRC.

Bus bays may be axed to help cut travel time LTA to test idea along Jalan Eunos where buses will stop by side of road. If the year-long trial - to be conducted together with road widening works in Jalan Eunos - is successful, the days could be numbered for bus bays all over Singapore, said Brigadier-General (NS) Yam.



I wanted to cry when I read this.

Our high salary thinking scholars came out with this kind of ideas which primary school students can also suggest.

In the olden days, there were no bus bays. Then, LTA systematically created bus bays for bus stops all over the island, so to improve traffic flow. Now everything is flushed down the toilet.

Back to the old days again.

Without bus bays, bus at the bus stop will be holding up traffic behind, which also hold up the more buses behind so....how cut cut travel time? What a short-sighted measures.

Maids fall to death?
Ban maids from washing windows.

Bus bay slow?
Remove bus bay.

I don't see how this can save time and traffic in any way! Any retard can tell you that the bus stopping will hold up traffic at the back. And if will causes massive traffic jams they will introduce another ERP to ease congestion.

Revenue from ERP will be wonderful colourful indeed

$2 to enter CBD
$2.50 for expressways like CTE/ECP/PIE
$1.50 to enter Orchard rd.
$1.00 for EACH HDB town centre
Free – drive around your own carpark.

Simply wonderful........

Been busy for the last few days.
Will update soon....hopefully.

Last night watch Singapore vs Thailand football match. Towards the end, referee awards Singapore a penalty which the whole Thai team walked out of the field in protest!

And this morning while surfing the Internet came across this forum which make my blood boil!

Source : http://g5.buildboard.com/viewtopic.php?topic=8751&forum=2630&86&id=4

-------
cool

Posted: 31/01/2007-21:45

Watch your words mate it's so ridiculous for your country..Was it honorable to win Thailand by encouraging from referees, go back to your shit and watch the replay incident mate What a pathetic country......no space no resource, no real nationality, you guys are a sort migrants, aren't you? Do you think Singapore will win Thailand in Bangkok? haha Daydreaming....go back to eat your mother nipples hahaha.... oh I forgot one thing...based on football history, our soccer capabilities we would be a ble to won those Korea, Japan China as well as Iraq. No no We won Korea, Japan and China in the past Asian game....question mark mate? Has Singapore ever single won above those Countries...??? I am sure Singapore always a losser indeed.
-------

I say to Cool,
The behavior of the Thais player were damned disgraceful..where got the whole team walked out of the field in protest! Only hooligans and thugs do such a thing.

Last night penalty was a legitimate one. A referee's decision is final! Italy were awarded a "non-penalty" right at the death against Australia and went on to lift the world cup...so now we don't acknowledge them as world champions?

It's always easy to make judgment looking back, but for the referee on the spot, making such a decision is not easy. Very easy to judge after looking at the re-play, hey you become referee lah.

By the way, I'm going to Geylang tonight and suck your countrymen Siam Bu nipple.

-------
perlisboy

Posted: 31/01/2007-22:45

hey guy ur country proud with other nationlity plsyers ? hahahaha
-------

I say to perlisboy,
Zinedine Zidane is from Algeria, and he plays for France. So what wrong with our FT import players?

-------
Bangkokian

Posted: 31/01/2007-21:58

hey singapuzzy,

r u pround of; Dikson, Precious: damn stinky africans ,ur mom? Damn bennett: who came from the country(british) that ur ass country used to be colonized...

hahahaha...congratulation!! u guys shouldn't be asians, get back and ask ur mom that who da hell is my dad really?

-------

I say to singapuzzy,
Africans? You make my toes laugh. We have never colonized by British but Thailand was ally with Japan during WW2. Thailand was a puppet state of Japan during WW2 letting Japanese army into Thailand freely. Tell me which is worst? To answer who your dad is.......he's a pussy.

Last note.
Decisions are solely made by the referees. Penalty given by the referee, whom may have made a mistake does not warrant a player to kick the ball out of goal for sportmanship sake. There is no allowance for this. Players walking out of the game? This is mockery, there is no such "democratic" applications for someone to just "create" their own rules when they feel like it.

I never like our Singapore football players team but seeing last night match, I'll be rooting for them this coming Sunday for the return leg.

Majulah Singapura!

Am glad Friday is almost coming.

Suddenly I’m in sort of craving over some boil “live' prawns. So brought ½ kg of it at the local supermarket. Back home had difficulty washing as the prawns was upset by exhibited behaviour of jumping off my sink.

Ha, they think can escape death? Wait until my water boil....

I'm gonna whack all of you tonight.
Yum yum.

Just then there this man came knocking on my front door.

Man: You want some kampong durian? Local durian, taken from this 40 years old tree.

Me: Ah...now also got durian delivery services?

Man: Around this area to deliver durian, I just see whether you are interested in kampong durain. Very good, smooth and fragrant to husky and bitter-sweet, I tell you.

Me: Err......ok I take one (seeing the man all in sweat)

(Then he took out a durian from his sack and weigh it.)

Man: Give you cheap, only SGD38/-

Me: Cheap?

I paid the man, took his durian with a dulan face. I think I have been taken for a ride.

Nick's 5 surviving tips for men.

- Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

- Never be rude to waiters as they will spit into your food.

- Always walk behind your wife or gf so that when you look at girls she won't know. Some more can show you're a gentleman.

- Never carry your wife / gf's handbag. You may be targeted by gays.

- Don't wear crocodile underwear as they are huge and when you bend down the whole world can see.

Here are some of the photos I took during Yong Meng's wedding dated 27/12/06


(See the red plastic bag? My duty was to carry Pork.)


(We reached the bride's house about 6:00am)


(Was asked to perform pole dancing before letting us in)


(I look really good in pant and long sleeved shirt..woof)


(Back to Yong Meng' house about 8:00am)


(Brother's team)


(10:00am at Lower Seletar Reservoir)


(I think I wear more pant and long sleeved shirt instead of jean in the future)


(For photo session, what pattern also must chut)


(Bobian...everybody chut pattern...I also follow suit)


(This is one of my fave....very nice indeed)


(Got a glimpse of me at the far back? Smoking lah)




(Sister's team)


(Look at me. 11:00pm, me getting very bored & hungry. Cigarettes ran out as well. Si buay moody)


(In my mind....what time go back. I haven't taken my breakfast yet)


(Wow..Yong Meng also never eat breakfast....how come he got strength?)


(The more I look at myself...the more I love myself. So smart. haha)




(12:15pm, finally back to Yong Meng's place. There's nothing to make a man hard and insane..like starving to death. Lucky there buffet waiting for us)


(The dinner at night)


(Security guard Nick, on duty that night..sire!)






(Was on the stage, shout Yum Sing. The next day...I lost my voice)


(This is the table where I sat that night. So many pretty girls...however none was available. Kanina!)


And now these are the photos taken with Stephanie's camera when we were at Labrador Park on 18/01/07.


(The Olive Ristorante at Labrador Park)


(Price here is steep...just like the slope in Labrador)


(Bear as usual in his happy mood)


(Now I know it true! Woman getting older..look prettier)