Saturday, December 31, 2005

Melvin is having his tradition Chinese wedding today but I didn't attend, most unfortunately. You see if I show up, I'll be going through a rather difficult period..........room with a strangers will bore me to death.

Ever since we left STI and both of us had lost contact with the rest of our school mates. Anyway I long inform Melvin I can't attend because I have to pop up for my ex-company dinner.

Time: 1900hrs
Venue: Furama city centre

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Was invited by my ex-company for their annual dinner and I can tell this year’s dinner was larger than ever. Another thing, I was NOT inform the attire; Smart Casual (shirt with collar, long trousers)

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Those girls really dress up for the evening......lucky I'm wearing polo shirt not t-shirt. By the way, having a reception before dinner was best way to interact with all my former colleagues.

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I don't know many of them as they joined the company after I left.

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(There is me, Peh and Poh)

Poh currently still is working there......

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There was singing session by the staffs....and it was hilarious. Not that they were singing too badly but it's their expression. They sang as if this is superstar contest...I was laughing all the way.

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Really if there was no such amusement to entertain me from time to time, I would long ago have committed suicide. I have load of fun also there was lucky draw and I won 6th prize, a food streamer. After dinner we stayed past midnight to welcome the New Year. Once clock strike midnight, we ran riot.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Train service between Aljunied and Bugis MRT stations was disrupted on Wednesday afternoon, affecting about 4,000 westbound passengers. The disruption came after a 32-year-old man jumped onto the tracks and was killed by an oncoming train at the Kallang MRT Station around 3pm.

Apparently a $5000 fine didn't deter the man from jumping.

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How come all the those commit suicide in the mrt is 100 percent successful? Maybe they thought that the message was, if you tried to commit suicide and unsuccessfully to on our tracks, you will be slapped with a $5000 fine. This is to cover costs for time loss in revenue during train halts and clean up acts.

Another thing if they can't stop a man from jumping how the hell are they going stop terrorists bombing the MRT?
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Sunday, December 25, 2005

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

If you don't have any Christmas tree or lights and no clue how some people goes into the Christmas spirit, take a look at this.

Also I written to Satan...Santa
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Dear Santa:

I've been a very good boy this year. I would like a small present from you. Don't let me see Sharon Au and Zoe Tay on TV ever again, pleaseeeee.

Nick
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

My immediate family has a Christmas tradition, making dinner and eat together on Christmas Eve. This year is no different except my younger brother is in Saudi Arabia, working. My brother in law didn't join us and my elder brother came and left in 10 min flat. He got a job to do.

But still,..........what better Christmas gift I could get than spend time with my family. I'm thank I didn't have any ship to attend. Oh Yeeeaahhh.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I'm down down with the FLU
My head's so heavy
Damn, don't know if it a bird flu.

I've got a running nose
and a sore throat,
An aching body
and a hot head
But still somehow I'm writing this post.

Two days ago, I was fine n running
and was looking foward
to the Christmas eve.

But Monday was a drag
and Tuesday was a bore
prospects look a bit dim
cos I got lots of chores.

So I'm down
down with the FLU
but it ain't gonna get to me
cause I going to recover soon.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

According to this site (sperm facts), I listed some of the interesting one.

Average volume of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
(I know mine is in 1-2 tablespoon. No wonder my balls so big.)

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
(I'm coming close to this....I'm not even in my forties yet.)

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 18 quarts
(1 quarts = 0.95 litres and is 17.10 litres of lifetime? Oh, I can fill up about 13.5 bottles of 1.25litres of coke bottle)

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
(I can't calculate my speed but I can shoot even through the wall when I was young. But ever since reaching my thirties, my speed is nil. My ejaculation is basically drip...drip...drip.)

For one, a healthy human male produces about 30 million sperm each day. With one ejaculation, 300 to 500 million sperm are released. Men continually produce sperm, day in and day out, throughout their lives.
(For those who think themselves as useless, think again. Even before you're born, out of the 300 to 500 million sperms, you are the fastest.....a winner.).

Monday, December 12, 2005

Here is this friend of mine who was pestering me for a loan for one year without any respond from my side.

I did lend once a upon time, a few times though to be exact. By now I know him too well. I'm very wary that if I do him another favour there would be never ending story for me.

I found him to be like a poorly portrayal character acting in the film. His stories of woes are to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Man shall not live by borrowing alone, however he is the special ONE.

He talked about no money to eat.....bah......bah. Yeah right, if I part with my dough and he doesn't repay, I end up eating with animals food or leftover myself.

Sorry he got my name wrong, I ain’t Mr. Goondu.

I didn't record the whole 20min conversation that we had. It almost unbearable for you guys to hear. But still.........by the way, is in Hokkien.

Click here part one! (Story time)

Click here part two! (Me highly recommended him to call Bear instead)

Click here part three! (Trying to convince me he needs money)
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Friday, December 09, 2005

As long as you are using Singapore to traffic drugs, you get the gallows. As long you're meeting Bear, he will be late.

This can be apply to Melvin as well.

Pick up Bear after work, he recommended to watch the movie “Aeon Flux” together. I don't know why he likes to see female in action especially lady assassins. As he saw the movie trailer, he talked about this show. He was so overwhelmed with pleasure, I almost didn't realize there a spillage of saliva out of his mouth.

If this chap is Hock Soon, I would hasten my departure from his intoxicated pleasure.

How can I resist Bear's invitation?

Went to Plaza Singapura brought tickets for 9:35pm, also to do our Christmas shopping. Haven't buy any clothes for months, it's time for some upgrading in my wardrobe. Along the way, we saw Taiwan snack or “little eats” in the basement. What's makes it so appealing is that they cook on the spot.

Sometimes I just hate being a Singaporean admittedly we are the best nation in the queuing. Nevertheless, we got our fried chicken in just 5 min despite of the queue.

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(Chicken mix with pepper and seasoning)

It ain't cheap for a snack like this, costs more than a plate of chicken rice. $3 per piece.

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(Bear giving 2 thumps up)

Was it nice?

Bear finished it, I ate half way and threw it away. Actually it not bad except too much seasoning; quite salty. We went from Wisma Atria to Takashimay shopping centre but couldn't find any polo t-shirt I wanted.

So hard to buy what I want, my goodness.

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(Bear is in his usual position, leading the way when it come to shopping)

These days, mostly polo t-shirt comes in vibrant color with outrageous design or print. Not suitable for middle age men like me, unfortunately.

Better buy those trademark Ah Lau polo t shirt. I think Alan Delon polo t-shirt is a good investment. Come ten years of now, I'll be wearing faded striped Polo t-shirts with a small pocket for my cigarettes and the collars stretched out of shape. Can never goes wrong with this outfit for Ah Lau.

Always IN thing for Ah Lau.

Orchard road crowd was like mob level. There were an endless stream of people walking and some were forced to jostle for elbow room.

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(Christmas light-up transformation along Orchard Road)

Took this opportunities to....

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(Using my mobile phone....)

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(It clear that Ah Bear has Parkson's disease...his hand couldn't stop shaking)

It take no genius to figure out who is the better photographer here.

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(We took our dinner at this place before our show starts)

This place is situate near cineplex and it like the resurrected of Glutton's Square, a outdoor food centre. Verdict on the foods?

Pui! Make it a double pui pui.

Ordered one plate of carrot cake and other oyster omelette. Gave me 2 plates exactly the same in color and tastes except one plate with oysters.

Saw the young chap who fried my carrot cake and oyster omelette, he looked to me as a school dropout or having his vacation job during his school holidays.

Nanbei!!
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

My ex-colleagues called me informing that I was invited for dinner with my ex-company & staffs on this coming New year Eve. Last year, they invited me for dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year. Although I left this company 6 years ago but my former boss still remember me.

Simply wonderful!

I remember when I was still there we used to treat each other as part of the family. When one's celebrate example birthday or housewarming, everybody would turn out. Every year, most of the staffs would embarked on tours all expenses paid by company. How nice!

And now my currently company is very much different.
We don't hang out.
We don't interact.
We keep each other at arm's length.
We talk only about work and nothing else.
We don't organise tour, it's serve no purpose.

For example when everybody in the account department go for lunch, they lock the whole room. Wau lau en, as if they had gold all over the place.

Also my office had cameras all over the place for security reasons but I see it as to “enhance” work rate for all staffs. We need passwords to active our pc and then another set of password to log in to our server. On top of that, I already got 3 sets of login ID with 3 passwords for work purposes through the internet alone.

And guess what?
Even photocopier machines required to key in yr login id and passwords.

How do you like working in this kind of environment?
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Sunday, December 04, 2005

I saw the Star Awards just one word.
Jialut.

Our winners, stars or so called celebrities are unrefined comparing to HK or Taiwanese counterpart. Just listen to their speeches, you know it's lack of grace, keep saying how they deserved it lah...how good lah.

Look at Taiwanese talk show hosts like Kang Kang or Jiao Jiao (as presenter ), our own talk show hosts can't even come close to their standard. Nevermind, it always been like since since the birth our SBC (Singapore Broadcast Corp).

There is one thing I cannot stand is our old senile dethrone queen, Ah Jie.

Came out with Christy Chung for the top ten female awards, keep talking, keep bah bah....like trying to out talk, outlast her opponent as if this is surviver series. It's got nothing related to the awards, clearly Zoe wants attention. Even when Christy wanted to speak, Zoe kept blabbering away.

Lucky my sister and mother grab me before I could smash TV to pieces. I even step ouside of my house to take some fresh air to calm myself down.

Both ladies are over thirty and mothers themselves. Putting Zoe next to Christy Chung will show how hag is Zoe. She should learn a thing or two from the sexy Christy on how to maintain look and figure. One look like market aunty and the other is a hot mama.

Zoe Tay for no reason went up on stage again when it's non of her bloody business kept babbling away like she's high on drugs, wanting Christopher Lee to propose to Fann Wong. My brother's maid, a Filipino was asking me who is this clown is, I told her she's from other TV station.

No way am I going to admit this is our TV Ah Jie.

On the bright side, I don't get to see my most hated 'star', the act cute gal who went to Japan to further her studies. Her name is Sharon Au.
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Friday, December 02, 2005

My ship is arriving 6:30am and I was driving to Cifford piers listening to the class 95. Just as I was turning round the corner at Suntec city, the radio play our nation anthem. Check the time, it's was exactly 6:00am.

I just realized Nyugen was executed by hanging.(6am)

Got me thinking why don't Singapore follow US in lethal injection instead of hanging? More humane, so to speak. In my view by lethal injection death can be painlessly accomplished comparing to hanging.

I think by choosing hanging, we can...

- Harvest essential organs unlike lethal injection which poisons the whole body. (Can use for transplant)

- Rope is cheaper than deadly chemicals. (Really cheap)

- Rope can be recycle for further if needed. (Very economical)

See, WE think of everything.

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Mostly everyday after lunch if time permit, me and a friend (work in same vicinity) would sit /stand outside International plaza to observe girls figures and their dressing styles. Some dress really well, while other goes for stylos milo as if attending for tea dance party and yet other like cover themselves like nun.

But there is this types/group I truly admire.

Overweight women wearing spaghetti strap tops with mini skirt to compliment it:-

Wau lau eh, with their arms is bigger than my 2 thighs combined, they still dare to wear those? Look at their meat or fat overflowing at the side of spaghetti. Truly their self-confidence and positive self-image in themselves have reached height. Unbelievable!

Overweight women wearing tight or smaller size clothings:-

Due to the tightness of their clothes whenever they walk, it's got waves running down from their tits to butts and back up again. Everytimes I see one of these human “meat dumpling” walk past I used my cactus plant to slap myself silly to prevent me from laughing. Shesssh.......they bring the term sexy to new meaning.

Fortunately none of my friends reading this are fat or else I won't be writing this.
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